Yet more posting, this time a bit more thoughtful....

[hel_ana]

I just had a conversation via IM with the not-so-annoying coworker in the loft. It came about because one of the annoying new guys made it crystal clear that he's super happy that I'm leaving.


me@mybrighthouse.com: It's good to know that T likes me about as much as I like him.
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: lol
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: that definately shows
me@mybrighthouse.com: Well, at least I should be able to get some packing help out of it.
me@mybrighthouse.com: Is it obvious that I don't like him?
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: yup
me@mybrighthouse.com: How?
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: but i dunno... you kinda come across that way to everyone
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: so not definately
me@mybrighthouse.com: I come accross as disliking everyone?
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: uh huh
me@mybrighthouse.com: really?
me@mybrighthouse.com: Even td?
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: or maybe more condescending
coworker@mybrighthouse.com: which comes across as not liking.....doesnt bother me cuz i know that is just how you are
me@mybrighthouse.com: Huh. Interesting.
me@mybrighthouse.com: I wonder why that is.

So, you who know me best, do you have any perspective on this for me? I'm honestly curious and open to anything you're going to throw out.

Comments

[eve2007.livejournal.com]

You are a very warm spirited person in your circle of friends. You could be different in your work environment though. I agree with Don about being higher educated. From experience, those who I would consider an "intellect" (like yourself) do tend to come off a bit stuffy or pretentious. Personally I don't feel you come off like that to me, but maybe you are coming off that way to others. I would be able to judge much easier if I was part of your work environment though.

But hey, you are leaving that place, so who cares what they think :)

[angel-renewed.livejournal.com]

I think it's your no-bullshit policy and the fact that you don't do ::subtle:: well. It's pretty easy to tell when you could give 2 sh*ts about the subject at hand and my guess is that very little of what's discussed at work is worthy of attention. Remember that 99% of how people are perceived at work has NOTHING to do with their performance, but rather how well they 'fit into the team'.

How to fit in? I guess pretending that you care about the other team members. It's rarely worked for me, but that's what I'm told. Also, coming from a tech background where everyone is mostly geeky and bright and being stuck in an enviroment where they aren't is a big switch. Again, I'm just speaking from what I know of you and what I've seen personally facing the same problem.

So says the fellow professional outcast and veteran of the 'unsubtle' movement.

[ilanajayne.livejournal.com]

I don't think this is true.

Let me think back to when we met... hmm... (that was a while ago, wasn't it...)

No, not condescending. Actually, you were quite friendly. And you seemed to like me right away, which actually, most people do not.

It could be because your Canadian-ness is off-putting to Americans. Not sure about that, though, as Dave and I never had any problems in the States when we were down there. And you knew Dave, he could be very off-putting when he wanted to be.

[ross-winn.livejournal.com]

The fact that the guy you are talking about is a very pushy nor'eastern jackass is a glaring omission in your analysis. Unless you are kissing this guys ass you would be seen as stand-offish. This hasn't been a long-term job challenge for you. I don't think it wil be, espescially when you aren't marooned by your boss, working alone, and institutionally forced not to communicate with your co-workers.

of course I am biased.

[eve-the-just.livejournal.com]

I think it's the sense of humour. As I recall, all the Tudor ladies had the same kind of dry, sarcastic wit. Which is why we liked each other so well. A lot of people just don't get it though. Not to mention, some people are put off by any humour more complex than fart jokes.

You're probably just smarter and better educated than them and it shows and it makes them uncomfortable. I wouldn't worry too much about it.