Grief is a funny thing

[hel_ana]

It seems so incredibly sharp at the onset, for something that eventually wears down to not-comfort-but-manageable. But it does wear down, as the years go by; while you're aware of it when it comes up, it doesn't hurt. The tears become fewer and farther in between. The before-the-grief part comes back into focus, somehow no longer causing fresh cuts. The anger fades, too.

And it seems so worn down that it's sometimes shocking when, occasionally, you get cut again by a sharp edge that just opened up because of something seemingly unrelated.

Comments

[the-nita.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Yah - sweet gods, yes.

[elizabear.livejournal.com]

Yep. I was separated for a year before we divorced. We had gone on with our lives as two unconnected people, so it was hard when those strings still tying us together got yanked, like having to file taxes. In fact, we ended up scheduling our divorce hearing with the main purpose of not having to deal with another "married, filing separately".

And after that it still took years for things to fade as you've said. Mostly, the cure for me was to be incredibly happily remarried. And even then, it really took until after the kids were born and we passed the length of my first marriage before I was more completely healed.

*hugs* and strength and good things to you.

A Quote

[real-jayde.livejournal.com]

I love this quote from Memoirs of a Geisha:

"Grief is a most peculiar thing; we're so helpless in the face of it. It's like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it." (297)

This seems like such an apt description.
Hugs hun,
Heather