I propose a new internet rule..

[hel_ana]

Everyone who attempts to buy a computer has first complete a test: write two paragraphs on a given subject.

If you can do it without "using" any "extraneous" quotes, you can buy a normal computer.

If you can't, you get one with the quote key removed from the keyboard.

I swear to god, isn't it bad enough that I have to see handwritten signs littered with the things, like so many dead flies stuck to the cardboard in inappropriate places?

Don't make me borrow Mr. Hammer from the Angry Grammarian, you typographically-challenged twits.

ETA: This was prompted not by LJ, but rather another message board I frequent. Ya'll are just fine.

Comments

[damedini.livejournal.com]

Aww, not u's? I'm glad, we, don't "upset" you, by using, poor "punctuation's".

The above is brought to you by the concept that English is a living language and thus anything that enough people do must be right*, despite my personal desire to shoot anyone who is so poor at using punctuation that they render their sentences illegible.
*Their rules:
if it ends in an S, there must be an apostrophe
Unless its plural
if it's its, there shall always be an apostrophe
commas: the more the merrier
and your quotes thrown in just to torment you *wink*

I kill you. I kill you with my brain.

[hel_ana]

Are you sure that's not "anything that enough people do must be write"?

In all seriousness, I understand about the living language aspect. However, in order for it to be a language (that is, a mechanism for two people to communicate), there must be rules. And I'm sure I'm preaching to the converted here.

As a friend and fellow pedant says, it's not the role of we pedants to stop the change in language; our role is to attempt to slow the changes down so that it remains a language.

Re: I kill you. I kill you with my brain.

[damedini.livejournal.com]

Abolutely!
Hi Ms Pot, I'm Kettle!

Re: I kill you. I kill you with my brain.

[hel_ana]

You know, it saddens me to think that there are almost certainly people who have no idea of the meaning of that metaphore.

I mean, my kettle's shiny and silver, with a white base that plugs into the wall. My sister in law uses a stovetop kettle, but with the electric range, there's no blackening of it or her pots. My pots are black, but that's because they're anodized aluminum.

[jascha.livejournal.com]

maybe this could just be a prerequisite for owning a working set of fingers?

[hel_ana]

I could get behind that idea.