May 16th, 1999 - For Bernadette

[hel_ana]

No annual tournament to mark it. No messages on a mailing list, at least not six years on. It slipped by quietly, though I'm sure still painfully for your closest and most loved. From here, a jolt when the reminder of the other pops up and disbelief that I'd forgotten and that it's been six years.

You're still one of the best people I've ever met. Thank you for the gifts you gave. I'm still sorry, and god help me, still angry, that you had to go.

requiescat in pace

Comments

[warpedwitch.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[much-ado.livejournal.com]

i think this should be posted to the E-List. if you don't want to, i'll do it for you.

[hel_ana]

If you want to, you're welcome to, without attribution.

[eve-the-just.livejournal.com]

I agree. Just because one person could swing a stick doesn't mean they're more worthy of rememberance than the other victim of the accident. Though maybe a tourney is not the best way to remember her. I didn't know her at all (I was a very fringe player at the time). What were her interests and in what way do you think her memory would be best honoured?

[damedini.livejournal.com]

I think you're harsh. Craig isn't more remembered because of his SCA rank. Well, only inasmuch it allowed him to meet more people and touch more lives. Bernie (from what I hear, I wasn't fortunate enough to know her) was at least as loved and is as surely missed. But I suspect she'd rather be remembered quietly and with a smile.

[eve-the-just.livejournal.com]

I guess it's just that old "fighters get all the attention" wound acting up again. It just seems to me like we're quicker to remember/compliment/pay attention to fighters than to anyone else in this group. I just happen to think the person matters more than the pastimes they engage in, whether they're sitting next to us at feast or waiting on the other side.

I guess it also seems strange to me because we have real and humourous memorial tourneys, and I'm not sure which way I think it should go, but I do think it should be made clear if we're remembering and honouring a real person or just the death of a persona (eg the David Martin Failsworth memorial in London). I never, for example, did manage to figure out if Lady Mary was named after someone they wanted to honour, someone who organized it, someone who had moved away or someone who was departed. If it's a "memorial" there should be some remembering.

When you get right down to it though, I suppose it's best that I stay out of it as I didn't know the individuals involved.

[hel_ana]

Actually Bernie was a fighter. She was the one who first got me into armour, and Marion of Heatherdale's One of Us was originally inspired by her.

That said, she wasn't a "name" fighter.

lady mary

[utsi.livejournal.com]

was baroness fiona's mother.

trivia from the dinosaur :)

[damedini.livejournal.com]

The Lady Mary Tournament is in honor of Lady Mary Rose, much loved late mother of the late Baroness Fiona. Lady Mary was an active member of Rising Waters prior to her death in (IIRC 1988). I beleve the early tourneys were intended to be the sort of events she liked to attend.

[hel_ana]

I finally found the journal entry I knew I'd written:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/hel_ana/22208.html

As for her memorial -- there are actually a couple. There are the Bernie bells, which were cast by Martin. And there's a tree planted in Waterloo park, near the pavillion where Bryniau had/?has? fighter practice. People may still have the belt favours that we made with her colours and a black band at the top. And, of course, the Maiden's Heart commemerates her, and the blue and gold are from her arms.

So there's stuff there. It's just quiet. Much like she was.

[eve-the-just.livejournal.com]

I got to thinking, in that post, you mentioned she would want you back in armour. Are you able to fight post-illness? If so, that would be a great way to honour her, in your own quiet way. And Brigit and I would love to cheer you on at the Laurel's tourney, or the ladies tourney or whatever strikes your fancy... just a thought. If you're worried about sucking, don't worry, you can't possibly suck more than me. I haven't even put on my armour in about two months now, and the last two times were my first war and my authorization bout respectively. I do understand that bringing armour by plane might just be impossible, so it's just a thought.

[damedini.livejournal.com]

I *had* forgotten the date, but I had been thinking of both of them the other day, and mentioned them to TK.