Seneschal - September 19, 1999

We're supposed to plant a tree on Tuesday. It'll happen, if I can manage to get ahold of about three people and get the information I need. If. I've been trying for a few days now, and no luck.

Unfortunately, the problems come down to two things; my reluctance to face this head on, since that means facing down Bernie's death, and my reluctance to phone people, chiefly David.

I'm not in denial about Bernie.. I know she died, at least intellectually. But every time I have to do something concrete, it still hits me in the gut. After they died, it was days until I could bring myself to post information to the canton listserv about it. It wasn't until someone else had posted, until I couldn't make it more real by being the one to post, that I could write anything.


The phone thing is more clear - I hate phoning people, I always have. It makes my stomach sieze up. Well, phoning people who don't know I'm phoning, or who I need or want something from. I love email, since it's a really non-invasive way to get information. But people tend to not answer email at inconvenient times.

However, I need to get the house cleaned and some laundry done. (See, I told you, minutiae.) The FITP steering committe is coming over tonight, and I also have to print out my copy of the planning documents.

About Seneschal

Seneschal n.
1) a steward in charge of a noble's estate in the Middle Ages
2) (SCA) a steward in charge of a local group in the "current Middle Ages".

"In charge" - sounds very good, but both definitions lack the context, the connotations. In reality, the seneschal is mostly in charge of the day-to-day running of things. Making sure that things get done, rather than deciding the fate or direction of the whole.

In the closing months of the millenium, I'm aware of myself as seneschal - of my local SCA canton, of course, but also of my home. I'm responsible for making sure the food gets into the cupboards and onto our plates, that the bills and rent get paid, and that the toilet gets fixed when the stupid chain comes apart from the handle, again.

I'm also working on being the seneschal of my own life. It's easy to be the lord of your life - making the big decisions (what school, what career, who to marry). It's harder to be the seneschal - getting the little daily tasks done that make the big decisions possible. This section, Seneschal, is part of this effort. It's an online journal, I guess. I supect it won't be that earthshaking, since the point is to track minutiae. And my audience is mostly me. It's just convenient to keep it on the web.

Expect updates about once a week. Or, in retrospect, probably you shouldn't expect updates very much at all. Enjoy them when they come.