at sixes and sevens
Dec. 12th, 2002 05:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hel_anaI actually accomplished a bunch of stuff today. It's a good feeling, but part of me wonders why I never seem to translate that good feeling today into any type of motivation tomorrow.
Part of me is very conflicted about what I'm doing. I don't especially want to be in this industry. I have reservations about doing some of the things I'm being asked to do (mostly to do with not being sure how I'm supposed to be doing these things, but some other stuff as well). I also feel like I'm flailing a bit in water that's way over my head.
All of which translates into avoidance. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a tendency to research things exhaustively, well before I actually undertake a course of action. I really like knowing what I'm getting into. I like having the control of knowledge, even when I don't have control over the situation as a whole. A good example is the whole step-parenting thing. I'd read half a dozen books, and been part of a usenet support group well before I actually met the children. It's just how I do things.
And I don't have the opportunity to do that here. It's very all over the map, and confusing, and sixteen things going on at once. And organization of myself never was a strong point. Maybe I need to take a class.
But I did get my to-do list done, and I'm quite happy with the results. One day at a time, I guess.
Part of me is very conflicted about what I'm doing. I don't especially want to be in this industry. I have reservations about doing some of the things I'm being asked to do (mostly to do with not being sure how I'm supposed to be doing these things, but some other stuff as well). I also feel like I'm flailing a bit in water that's way over my head.
All of which translates into avoidance. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a tendency to research things exhaustively, well before I actually undertake a course of action. I really like knowing what I'm getting into. I like having the control of knowledge, even when I don't have control over the situation as a whole. A good example is the whole step-parenting thing. I'd read half a dozen books, and been part of a usenet support group well before I actually met the children. It's just how I do things.
And I don't have the opportunity to do that here. It's very all over the map, and confusing, and sixteen things going on at once. And organization of myself never was a strong point. Maybe I need to take a class.
But I did get my to-do list done, and I'm quite happy with the results. One day at a time, I guess.
