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Jul. 2nd, 2006 12:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hel_anaIf you haven't had a good laugh today (and you should -- it's quite healthy for you), consider taking a look at the Letters to the Editor in the July 1st edition of the St Petersburg Times.
Ah, what the hell. It'll be gone tomorrow.
Here's the letter, with the name removed. I'll save my editorial comments til afterwards.
Get rid of the alligators
Re: Dog taking walk at park is snatched by alligator, June 27.
I am disgusted and horrified at our blase attitude toward alligators. The dog could have been a child or adult who was 3 feet away from the shore. The alligator has no status and serves no purpose in our society except to kill and terrorize. It neither votes nor pays taxes. It should be relocated to the Everglades and taken for its food value so we humans can enjoy the lakes and bodies of water for our relaxation and enjoyment for which we pay a lot of taxes.
Why should we be terrified in our lakes, too? There is enough terror and crime in the streets with sexual predators, criminals, rapists and killers in our midst. I am sick of the people who want to preserve these prehistoric killers and consider alligators as important as humans.
Wake up, Floridians, and petition your local state officials to rid our lakes of alligators. Why live in fear? It could be you or your loved one next!
And my commentary
alligator has no status and serves no purpose in our society
Well, technically, that's because it's not a part of our society, "society" relating, as it does, to human activity.
It neither votes nor pays taxes
Neither do infants or small children. Or dogs (including the very dog in question, for that matter. Do you feel we should either remove to the Everglades or eat young humans and domesticated animals? How very Swiftian of you.
so we humans can enjoy the lakes and bodies of water for our relaxation and enjoyment for which we pay a lot of taxes
My, I sure am glad that that the government funded that project to dredge out the Gulf of Mexico so that we could go to the beach.
Why should we be terrified in our lakes, too?
Well, for one thing, because you live in Florida, and Florida has alligators. And, really, it's kind of the human condition to live in fear of the scary things outside of the range of the firelight. It gives a certain je ne sais quoi to our place on the food chain, which otherwise would lead to a certain ennui.
Wake up, Floridians, and petition your local state officials to rid our lakes of alligators.
Why stop there? The Gulf has all those sharks and stingrays. Those Florida black bears are just too aggressive about protecting their cubs. And all those birds sometimes poop on people's heads. Hell, why don't we just petition the state to get rid of all the wildlife, flora and fauna, and pave the whole damned state. It'll make traffic so much better.
Again, there aren't enough eye rolls in the world for this guy.
Ah, what the hell. It'll be gone tomorrow.
Here's the letter, with the name removed. I'll save my editorial comments til afterwards.
Get rid of the alligators
Re: Dog taking walk at park is snatched by alligator, June 27.
I am disgusted and horrified at our blase attitude toward alligators. The dog could have been a child or adult who was 3 feet away from the shore. The alligator has no status and serves no purpose in our society except to kill and terrorize. It neither votes nor pays taxes. It should be relocated to the Everglades and taken for its food value so we humans can enjoy the lakes and bodies of water for our relaxation and enjoyment for which we pay a lot of taxes.
Why should we be terrified in our lakes, too? There is enough terror and crime in the streets with sexual predators, criminals, rapists and killers in our midst. I am sick of the people who want to preserve these prehistoric killers and consider alligators as important as humans.
Wake up, Floridians, and petition your local state officials to rid our lakes of alligators. Why live in fear? It could be you or your loved one next!
And my commentary
alligator has no status and serves no purpose in our society
Well, technically, that's because it's not a part of our society, "society" relating, as it does, to human activity.
It neither votes nor pays taxes
Neither do infants or small children. Or dogs (including the very dog in question, for that matter. Do you feel we should either remove to the Everglades or eat young humans and domesticated animals? How very Swiftian of you.
so we humans can enjoy the lakes and bodies of water for our relaxation and enjoyment for which we pay a lot of taxes
My, I sure am glad that that the government funded that project to dredge out the Gulf of Mexico so that we could go to the beach.
Why should we be terrified in our lakes, too?
Well, for one thing, because you live in Florida, and Florida has alligators. And, really, it's kind of the human condition to live in fear of the scary things outside of the range of the firelight. It gives a certain je ne sais quoi to our place on the food chain, which otherwise would lead to a certain ennui.
Wake up, Floridians, and petition your local state officials to rid our lakes of alligators.
Why stop there? The Gulf has all those sharks and stingrays. Those Florida black bears are just too aggressive about protecting their cubs. And all those birds sometimes poop on people's heads. Hell, why don't we just petition the state to get rid of all the wildlife, flora and fauna, and pave the whole damned state. It'll make traffic so much better.
Again, there aren't enough eye rolls in the world for this guy.
