The Big Dark

It's always a bit of a downer, the first day that it really hits you.

The sun was just a glow in the sky this morning as I left for work. In a few months, the only sun I'll see is through an office window: it'll be dark during my trip in, and during my trip out.

I guess it's time to hit the vitamin D.

At least it'll be good for my skin.

::sighs::

The nature of my addiction

I've been accused by those close to me of being overly dependant on the internet.

Certainly, my career (working at an internet software company for 2+ years) points in that direction. And it plays a large role in my leisure time, too.

However, it's not reality. Or, at least, it's a misinterpretation of the facts. (And this is something I've only come to realize in the last while, so I don't blame the rest of you for not getting it.)

I'm not addicted to the net. I am highly dependant on contact from the people who are most important to me, the vast majority of whom I keep in contact through email/lj/icq/aim/hotline. If you put me down in front of a computer that has a net connection, and let me go wherever I want, but cut off access to LJ, IM, and email, I'm going to be unhappy. If you cut off everything but LJ, IM, and email, I'd be fine.

So, a day like yesterday, when my husband was sleeping off his cold, and no-one else was around online, left me completely jonesing for contact from all y'all. (Which was why I ended up hijacking Mike's EQ time to talk.)

This does, of course, lead to the question "Adrienne, why don't you just go out and see people?" And the answer to that is two-fold.. a lot of people I can't really, due to distance considerations.

The second factor is just purely that it's only been in the past couple of months that I've had the energy to. This was really brought home to me on Saturday, when I was at the first social event in about 2 or 3 years that I didn't need a nap by the 2 hour in mark.

So anyway.. just a little snippet of my brain that *I* haven't fully understood up till recently.

Forgive me father,

for I have coveted my cubical-neighbour's plant cutting.

So in the bathroom at the office, there's a glass. Inside the glass is a golden pothos cutting that's developing a magnificent root structure. We have a bunch of pothos at the office, and I suspect that this fell off and got stuck in water. Or something.

Because it's been ages and ages, and it's well past the point where you'd take it home and plant it if you'd taken a cutting and put it in water on purpose.

I want that plant. It's so healthy and green. And the root system is just beautiful. But I know that taking it is probably the wrong thing to do. ::sighs:: It's very frustrating.