My view is if someone can go through something like this with a grin from ear to ear and never a doubt or fear, they either aren't dealing with it at all, are ignorant to the point of being dangerous or they are delusional and probably don't believe any of it is actually happening so what is there to deal with eh?
On the other hand, anyone who falls into a million pieces, can't accomplish anything in the rest of their lives because they are immobilized by this one thing, can't move on and live their life when they do get better, blames others, blames themselves, or blames god for their dumb luck and won't forgive when rationality sets in (if it ever does) or otherwise ruins careers, education and relationships over it is dealing with it poorly.
Anything in between is okay. You have to acknowledge that something sucky happened or you can't possibly deal. And acknowledging something sucky is happening means you're going to have feelings about it. As long as you don't allow those feelings to dominate, degenerate or otherwise destroy your life and your relationships, then you've dealt with it just fine.
Last I checked, you still accomplished a lot throughout your ordeal and even ignoring the fact that you are perfectly healthy (which is a big part of a good life), things are pretty good with your life right now.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2004-10-21 12:04 pm (UTC)How would you define "dealing with it well"?
My view is if someone can go through something like this with a grin from ear to ear and never a doubt or fear, they either aren't dealing with it at all, are ignorant to the point of being dangerous or they are delusional and probably don't believe any of it is actually happening so what is there to deal with eh?
On the other hand, anyone who falls into a million pieces, can't accomplish anything in the rest of their lives because they are immobilized by this one thing, can't move on and live their life when they do get better, blames others, blames themselves, or blames god for their dumb luck and won't forgive when rationality sets in (if it ever does) or otherwise ruins careers, education and relationships over it is dealing with it poorly.
Anything in between is okay. You have to acknowledge that something sucky happened or you can't possibly deal. And acknowledging something sucky is happening means you're going to have feelings about it. As long as you don't allow those feelings to dominate, degenerate or otherwise destroy your life and your relationships, then you've dealt with it just fine.
Last I checked, you still accomplished a lot throughout your ordeal and even ignoring the fact that you are perfectly healthy (which is a big part of a good life), things are pretty good with your life right now.